How to find the pandemic sex toy that’s right for you
Whether your goal is alleviating boredom or becoming a more complete sexual being, there’s a sex toy out there somewhere with your name on it. There are several options to narrow the field (hey, this pandemic isn’t going to last forever, right?) for singletons, cohabitants and disconnected couples alike.To get more news about
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And if you’re taking your first baby steps into the buzzing, pulsing, shiny chrome and colored plastic world of assisted loving, here’s a piece of advice from the professionals: Check any self-judgment at the door.
“Be there to meet yourself where you’re at,” said Jill McDevitt, a San Diego-based sexual wellness coach who serves as the in-house sexologist for Ontario, Calif.-based adult-novelty company CalExotics. “If you have no sexual desire right now, don’t beat yourself up about that. If you want to have masturbation marathons because that’s a coping strategy for you, that’s OK. It’s really about giving yourself permission to do what you need to do right now to take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself.”Psychologist Laurie Mintz echoes that sentiment. “There really are no rules except to do what feels good and don’t feel guilty about it — that’s a hard one for a lot of people,” said Mintz, a University of Florida professor and author of “Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters — And How To Get It.” “Take your time. Enjoy yourself. And if it doesn’t work, try something different.”
If your home zone is as partner-free as it was before the great societal shutdown of 2020, you might think there’s nothing to be done besides chatting on apps like Tinder or Scruff to set up post-COVID-19 dates or hookups or taking advantage of the #playathome discounts that retailers are offering on intimate hardware.
For those flying solo, Mintz, whose specialty is working with women, recommends the website of masturbation guru Betty Dodson, author of the 1987 self-help book “Sex For One: The Joy of Self-Loving” as a starting point a two-season collection of videos, infographics and touchable simulations (requires a one-time fee of $49 or $89) aimed at normalizing self-pleasure for women.
There’s also Mintz’s own book, “Becoming Cliterate,” which has a step-by-step chapter specifically on the topic of masturbation. And guys, if this bright pink book ends up in your house, there’s something in it for you too: the chapter “Cliteracy for Him,” which includes an anatomy lesson, myth-debunking and tips on sexual communication skills.What’s the best pleasure-providing plaything for your house party of one? Only you’ll know. What we can tell you, though, is what some of the bestsellers are at the companies we surveyed.
At Stockholm-based luxury sex-toy maker Lelo, the most popular pieces of pulsing plastic are the Sona 2 Cruise ($139, a clitoral stimulator that varies intensity with applied pressure) for women; and the F1s sleeve ($189) for men with the remote-controlled prostate-massaging Hugo ($219) close behind.At Doc Johnson, a North Hollywood company that’s been around since 1976, the current bestseller is actually an antibacterial toy cleaner (“Sales are way up on that,” said Chief Creative Officer Chad Braverman. “Maybe people are trying to double it as a hand sanitizer”), but toy-wise, it’s the Main Squeeze line of replica masturbators for men ($79.99, modeled after specific adult performers’ and social media stars’ actual body parts) that seem to be selling like hotcakes.
And at CalExotics, founder and Chief Executive Susan Colvin reports that the No. 1 women’s bestseller — for the last two decades — has been the Butterfly Kiss, a personal massager with butterfly-shaped wings ($16.99).
When the number of consenting adults in your safer-at-home circle reaches two or more (no judgments here), communication skills become more important. Is your sex drive stronger than that of your partner or partners? Do different things get each of you in the mood? Does the pandemic seem to be the perfect time to unleash the beast lurking in the bottom of your sock drawer? Are you — and we’re talking mostly to you hetero guys here — jealous of your wife’s handheld sidepiece? Mintz underscores that you needn’t be jealous.
“Regardless of the pandemic or not,” Mintz said, “the research is unequivocal that women who use vibrators have easier and more frequent orgasms. And women who have male partners who accept their vibrator use have higher sexual satisfaction. So, for those people, this is a great time to embrace the idea of a sex toy, experiment with it and debunk those myths for heterosexual couples that it’s going to replace men. All it does is provide good, intense stimulation. It doesn’t cuddle. It doesn’t laugh.”
